Not All Questions Are Created Equally
One of my greatest assets is that I love to ask questions.
My husband doesn’t always appreciate that when we’re watching movies, but I can’t help myself. Lucky for me, asking questions is an integral part of my work as a coach. Not only do questions allow for exploration, but they provide an opportunity to identify established ways of being and at least consider how things can be done differently.
In the book A More Beautiful Question, Warren Berger writes, “When we want to shake things up and instigate change, it’s necessary to break free of familiar thought patterns and easy assumptions. We have to veer off the beaten neutral path. And we do this, in large part, by questioning.”
My (in)formal training as a coach has been largely focused on how to ask thoughtful, powerful questions that are, more often than not, future-focused and aspirational. By asking such questions, the client is pushed to consider new or different strategies that will bring about the change they seek.
Compare & Contrast
Consider these questions:
What’s the story that you’re telling yourself about your skills compared to those of your colleagues?
What would it mean to you to be considered for this promotion?
What steps, if any, have you taken to tolerate your boss better?
Now consider these reworked versions:
What’s the story that you want to tell yourself about your skills?
What do you believe it takes for you to be considered for this promotion that would be meaningful for you to develop?
What steps do you need to take to tolerate your boss better?
What’s The Difference?
In the first question, rather than allowing the client to focus on the current story, they’re asked to consider what they want the story to be. The client may not have an immediate answer, but the question jump starts a conversation that takes their story from what it has been to what it could be which is a powerful, purposeful shift. A future-focused question supports the design of new, creative thinking that, in this case, rewrites the client’s narrative.
In the next two questions, rather than focusing on general feelings or past actions, the client is asked to consider the actions that they’re willing to take to produce change. This is a key factor that sets coaching apart from other professions. When clients define actions and identify how these will create sustainable results for themselves, they are facilitating their own long-term growth and success.
Researcher John Seely Brown says, “If you’re comfortable questioning...then change is something that becomes an adventure. And if you can see it as an adventure, then you’re off and running.” As children, we rarely hesitated to ask questions and (hopefully) found adventure all around us. Let’s get comfortable with questions again - innovation awaits.